my brain just threw up a little…

February 21, 2016

on dietary choices and religious repercussions

“Surely i’m going to hell for this. But at least I smell pleasantly of bacon and stifled agony!”

20160221_115058

“I have no secrets from you…”

I have no secrets from you they say. Maybe it’s just my lousy experiences of the past, but this statement equates to “my pants are around my ankles.” And it always comes down to one of the three things:

1 – you and your confidant are looking at an enjoyable experience involving trust.

2 –  you are looking at a great deal of embarrassment.

3 – you’re getting fucked, and not in a nice way.

Ya’ll need to stop and listen.

… and because one good turn deserves another, and believe me this one deserves it’s turn oh so very very much:

February 20, 2016

deep thought nine

Filed under: Daily Crazies,Did You Know,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 6:00 pm

There are so many creative human activities that can be compared to farting. The way it usually goes is “let it happen, otherwise it will be shit!.”1456005567052

February 19, 2016

Your internet is nice…

FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Laughing - Grinning Dog

February 17, 2016

politeness is a fucking burden

Transmetropolitan-I-Hate-It-Here

from an earlier conversation

“Heich-aar”

martial art of reputable place of employment

February 16, 2016

random conversation bit

Filed under: Daily Crazies,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 2:07 pm

ME:
apparently “go fly a kite is a title of a song”
“go fly a kite”
not kidding
it is from Disney’s demented vision of Mary Poppins
Mary? Mery? fuck… not sure. The magical governess with the power of American Sugar Lobby system behind her

Friend:
Let’s go fly a kite up to the highest night,
lets go fly a kite and send it soaring, up through the atmosphere,
up where the air is clear.
Let’s gooooo fly a kite!

Me:
yeah, THAT

Friend:
Yep
Love that song

Me:
play it at my funeral
on a string base
out of tune
in a wrong key

Friend:
Done, and SO done
With a coat hanger as a bow?

Me:
and have a deranged clown with tourettes sing the lyrics… all in minor
tap-dancing number in clownshoes is optional
and then…
because that would be just totaly awesome
a rap-battle
one caveat
the musical accompaniment for said rap-battle
MUST be Pachebel’s Cannon
original score

January 19, 2015

random quote thing

Filed under: Daily Crazies,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 11:48 am

“I get my hands on a dollar again,
I’m gonna hang on to it till that eagle grins.”

(overheard in a song)

January 13, 2015

made coworker listen to a lovely tune from 100yrs ago

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 10:52 am

Coworker: “That sort of stuff is my jam lol”

Me: “Madam! I categorically refuse being involved in any workplace discourse involving your “jam!”

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