my brain just threw up a little…

September 9, 2019

Dear Comcast…

Dear Comcast,

I feel you. Seriously, I do. I know what it’s like to be taken for granted and only to be remembered when porn suddenly stops. Naturally by the time service is restored and you find yourself running back at your inappropriately moaning terminal so you could save face, only to discover that the lady on your screen didn’t save hers. Have you no sympathy for the fading 30-something dressed up like a little school-girl, who for no other reason but because of the spotty Comcast connection suddenly finds herself in company of very sweaty asian men trying to administer her a devastating enema? What about that perfectly innocent “Mom” trying to clean her daughters’ room? Have you any idea what happened to her? Did you even know that human body can do ALL that inside 14 minutes?

Fix your shit, please. Porn is getting more confusing.

August 14, 2019

You’d think I shat on their counter while puppet-talking with my inappropriates.

So I messed up my lower back a couple of days ago. I have no idea how I managed to do that. One minute everything is fine and I am sweating over some woodworking project in my garage. Next minute I am waking up from dozing off in my chair in front of my computers and … and my lower back is screaming agony. I remember sitting down. I was fine. When I woke up I was no longer fine. My movement was suddenly restricted to an old man shuffle, and sitting down or standing up suddenly became a pain-filled five minutes long episode of heroic struggle through clenched teeth and choked tears (very hollywooded hero like). Later that night I tried going to bed and the very attempt at laying down was painful to a point of being nightmarish. The following day I tried getting myself back in some semblance of working or at least functional shape. Hot showers, stretching, rolling on a floor, and taking over the counter meds to help with a massive muscle spasm, all was to naught. So I setup an appointment with a chiropractor who previously helped me. Same day, late in PM. And I contacted my boss to let them know I am not in any shape to come in the following day unless my chiropractor pulls a miracle out of their hat.

I arrived at the chiropractor’s office… stop. let me re-picture this bit.
When I retell my stories I always make it a point to protect the innocent bystanders, and I always try to avoid defaming businesses. I am not going to disclose names of places and businesses involved in this truly idiotic event. Not everyone working at that place deserves my displeasure. Not everyone there is a bad person, and I am sure that whoever started that business did not intend for it to do to their clients what they did to me. Sorry if you do not like it, but it is my blog and these are my rules. Soto protect the innocents I am going to name this chiropractic’s joint a… um… sec, let me see… ah! “Spinal Krackers and Holistic Massage Merchandisers Central.” Or “Holy Krackers” for short.

So, I arrived at Holy Krackers inside two minutes of my scheduled appointment time. It took me a couple of extra minutes to get out of the car because of the sad shape that I was in. At receptionist desk I gave the required information and chatted with the receptionist person. It was the end of their day and I felt obligated to make them smile. Why? Well, that’s one of those things I do, you see? Because life is short, and in some possibly short while you will flatline and start decomposing. All what will be left of you is a decomposing skinsuit, a box of belongings labeled “Estate,” and memories you share with others. Which of these things do you think people will be willing to hold onto? I say it is memories. So I make it a point to create memories that will be worth a damn and will be shared with a happy smile rather than a frown. Mkay? You may create your legacy as a Tyrant, executing millions. I would rather be that guy who says stuff that makes you freeze the day and ponder for a minute with a smile on your face.
So I entertained the tired receptionist person by regaling them the story of Bridge. This poor chap Bridge blew his back out while having a personal sexy time with a screen full of porn. The unfortunate event became public knowledge because his injury coincided with the moment of paraxism (read: he dislocated his back when he gasm’d).
Receptionist was laughing themselves silly. Please note that at no point of time have they said anything that would indicate that what I said was inappropriate and/or unwelcome.
So after the spinal adjustment I spoke with same receptionist again to make a follow-up appointment for next day, showed said receptionist pictures of my dogs, bid my goodbyes, and left the building.

First thing in the morning my phone rings. It is a call from some Angry that works at “Holy Krackers,” and she is telling me that I am no longer welcome in their establishment because my behavior during last visit was extremely inappropriate. Needless to say I was taken aback by this. Mainly because during my last night’s visit there was neither a single complaint nor a request to stop. Receptionist person was laughing so hard they almost cried, which is not indicative of a negative reaction to things being said.
So, naturally, I asked the caller to tell me exactly what it was that was said or done that was inappropriate.
She refused to give any details. She only said that I know what I did. And then should bit off her goodbyes and hung up the phone rather abruptly.
Not being satisfied with this lack of information I immediately tried to call back but no one answered. So I called back after about an hour and got the same lady on the phone. We will say that her name is Flowe. So I asked Flowe The Angry what it was that I have said or done because I think they owe me at least some explanation about their sudden dismissal of a paying client. Again she parroted the same half vague dismissive “you know what you did” and then she added that if I call again they will contact the authorities because my calling them again would constitutes harassment.

I think I am not a bad person. I may be a Sith Lord at heart, sure, but I do not have enough time and resources to return the slight.
If I did… well…
1. Find a printing press in a non-extradition country
2. Print 100,000 quarter-sheet fliers.
3. Airdrop these fliers the day before holiday weekend over our quaint college town by drone.

Fliers should read:
“Spinal Krackers and Holistic Massage Merchandisers Central presents V-Steam by Flowe! Only $9.95/session! Call now to make reservations!”

(and if you do not know what V-Steam is… well, look it up if you must)

Back still hurts. MD hooked me up some muscle relaxants. Now to find an able-bodied person to move a crate of bottled water.

Beware the angries. They will go as far as ignoring your injuries to just show how righteous they are. Sad thing that.



May 21, 2019

On wars

December 21, 2018

Invisifriend from Happy!

September 9, 2018


People like throwing this word around when they do not like someone’s opinion.

Everyone has opinion(s). Not agreeing with an opinion is not an issue. Handling it can be an issue.

Live and let live, you buncha dirty apes.

August 28, 2018

Altered Carbon

Filed under: commentary,dreams,screen-shots — Sol @ 11:37 am

From Altered Carbon. Hey, at least no one was shagging this cat. Aristocrats.

June 23, 2018

crossing fingers

Filed under: commentary — Sol @ 2:12 pm

This guy I know just told me he is dealing with a brain tumor.

I like this guy. I hope his tumor fucks off and recovery is quick.

oh and he has a pretty awesome doggus.

CW, I’ll keep my digits crossed and will see you when you get out of that mess.

March 31, 2018

I’ll just leave this here for The Angries

Filed under: Anti-SJW,commentary,Did You Know,immortalized (™) — Sol @ 8:57 am

Pay Gap

February 18, 2018

Face of all the evil, AKA Jimmy The Angry

You do know that it’s not the rifle that kills. It is the moron holding it that pulls the trigger.
You think that instituting a ban on “AR-style” rifles is a panacea for school shootings? You are dumb. Plain and simple. OR! You are looking for an argument with ulterior motives and that makes you dumb and a four-legged twat-waffle.
Okso, there is a teenager with hitherto undefined issues and they feel the need to make a statement by just destroying things. Yes, I said “things” because for a damaged and sick individual human beings are just that – a thing.
Jimmy The Angry (the angsty teenage sociopath now has a name for ease of reference!) goes to local store to get himself outfitted with a fine and dandy Armalite product to rain destruction on all those he hates. (maybe he believes himself to be a falcon and wants to fly free, who knows?)(actually… who knows, really? he got a shrink, or proctologist or something? anyone?)
Clerk at unnamed local store tells this kid to fuck off unless background check. Jimmy The Angry produces ID.
Some states won’t sell till you are 16. Other states will sell when you are 18.
no matter. Mr Angry is 19.
Background check shows prior arrests and residencies.
Not a word about Mr Angry being on two serious meds.
Not a word about Mr Angry being in psych care.
Not a word from precog bureau.
Not a word from no such agency about Jimmy making subtle yet terrible threats in the bathroom, out of sight but within the earshot of his mom’s favorite basement Echo.
okso, Jimmy gets his AR and buys thirty or so magpul mags and a strappy magbra (tacvest). Jimmy The Angry loads out, drops self off at school, and unloads his anger.
There is no armed guard or two on the grounds. Like one at the gate and one inside with eye on cameras, no? It would make sense to guard kids, seeing how kids are pretty damn important. Not to mention there is this “pandemic slaughtering of kids instituted by Republicans and their gun-laws” or something like that, right? More on that later.
Aha, say you. But what if there was no evil AR so readily available for Jimmy The Angry!
Now, I could call you dumb just there, but in spirit of goodness I will play along for a hot minute.
No AR? No problem!
How about a popular american made semi-auto shotgun with a 25rnd drum, bubba-stock and an 18″ barrel? Do you still think that AR is the most evil thing out there?
Because that shotgun IS a hunting weapon that cost about as much as AR and any dimwit can switch out a barrel, and slap a 30rnd drum of 00 into it. You want to see images of what 00 does to a human torso at 25yrds? Seen many hallways longer than 25yrds filled with firealarmed students? Just use your imagination.
Where is the will, there is a fucktard looking to use it.
Going to outlaw guns and make unregistered guns “bad” and punishable by up to 30yrs in prison?
Right! Person looking to commit a murder is not going to be deterred by “ooooh look, a draconian firearms charge, better not do this” when they are looking to End someone’s Life and quite possibly end their own.
No, they are not going to use their own registered weapon to hold up a bank or to start a quiet neighborhood carjacking business.
You want a viable solution to a politicized cause of death that costs 1/10th of a percent of deaths compared with car crashes, or whatever the number is?
Iraq Death Toll Reaches 500,000 Since Start Of U.S.-Led Invasion …
Total number of deaths in ALL school shootings in US since 1764 – … 222.
Here is another set of numbers:
In 2010, there were an estimated 5,419,000 crashes, 30,296 of with fatalities, killing 32,999, and injuring 2,239,000. About 2,000 children under 16 die every year in traffic collisions. Records indicate that there has been a total of 3,613,732 motor vehicle fatalities in the United States from 1899 to 2013.
Motor vehicle fatality rate in U.S. by year – Wikipedia
wait, wait… here is a good one!
25,000 to 120,000 The minimum number of the above deaths due to negligence. That is, deaths caused
by medical malpractice each year.
oooh, hey, how about this one?
Facts About Abortion: U.S. Abortion Statistics
Jan 22, 2018 – Between 1973-2012, 431 women died due to abortion complications (CDC).
Cigarette smoking causes about one of every five deaths in the United States each year. Cigarette smoking is estimated to cause the following: More than 480,000 deaths annually (including deaths from secondhand smoke)
CDC – Fact Sheet – Tobacco-Related Mortality – Smoking & Tobacco Use…/tobacco…mortality/index.htm
222 since ever…
Now, rest your eyes on this bit for a moment:
Gun violence in the United States – Wikipedia
Gun violence in the United States results in tens of thousands of deaths and injuries annually. In 2013, there were 73,505 nonfatal firearm injuries (23.2 injuries per 100,000 U.S. citizens), and 33,636 deaths due to “injury by firearms” (10.6 deaths per 100,000 U.S. citizens). These deaths consisted of 11,208 homicides, …
that’s approx 11000 out of about 33000. Roughly a third is a homicide. Means the other 22000 are fucking pranks, what?
Still think AR is the face of all evil?
That makes you fucking dumb.
Jimmy level dumb.

It is a “do not speak at me” level of dumb.

Produce a viable solution. Track Jimmies. Set guards in schools. Most importantly – if you value human life so very fucking much, then maybe you will stop being hypocritical in regards to whose life matters more and start acting like they all fucking matter regardless of whose vaganus they turded out of into this world.

February 5, 2018

Alms in binary code is a bunch of ones and zeroes too.

Filed under: Anti-SJW,commentary,Daily Crazies,dreams — Sol @ 3:36 pm

Implication of the tech progress will result in some skewed scale of values.
Much like wearing eyeglasses became a usual thing, so will VR/VAR will become commonplace and even must-have, overlaying division of classes.
This is how you will end up with high-tech bums working from home.
There will be an android on the corner of Jolly and MLK projecting a holographic image in the space in front of computer operated cars at traffic light.
Motorists will be exposed to images of cute kittens, playful puppies, technocolor tits, bad teeth, apple-pie, and Jesus holding out a clickable hyperlink for “donation to my cause ’cause I work from home.”
Until then – it is a bit of cardboard over second-hand shoes.

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