my brain just threw up a little…

April 22, 2009

overheard

Filed under: lawls — Sol @ 2:48 pm

“brutal muppet sex”

April 20, 2009

randomnessesez

Filed under: random crazies,Uncategorized — Sol @ 9:21 pm

a friendly person on wow asked waht I thought her age was. I have no damn clue. I never saw her, never heard her, not even sure that she is a she to begin with. She asked to brave a guess. I relayed that my guess is in 70s because of the way she smells. I don’t know if she got the joke. Oh well.

Speaking of smells. I love my dog dearly, but I am putting her on a damn diet. That is fucking it!

April 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 11:45 pm

I was actually going scribble something about this WoW game I am playing, and I was going to title this “world of wow” but that would make it both the pun and a good play on words.

See even there at the beginning I sounded like an adult trying to fit in with the kids: “this WoW game I am playing.” Whereas for about 11mil people out there it is no longer necessary to waste breath describing that whole  “WoW game I am playing” for it became an obj, and quite sometime ago.

I get WoW dreams. Totally fucked up kind. Random WoW characters manifest themselves in my world of dreams and all of a sudden there is Rivendare butt-fucking my 2nd grade teacher.

Carl is somehow shorter, and you expect he’d be green. He is applying a “+5hp” bumper-sticker to Kamel’s makeshift armor. That armor is crafted from black server cases and he keeps talking about making it smolder for that would be a very cool special effect. I asked what this effect will do in combat if anything, and he immediately went into macro-economic babble which in his head would justify smoke with no fire.

Last Halloween there was some ingame thing where you could buy masks (its been an every year thing for quite some time) – in dream toons where getting masks that made them look like players. Blizzard was charging 15USD for these avatar masks. It was 49.95USD for people whose avatar-faces did not fit on 8.5×11, and humans in Lordaeron where organizing a commission on face-sizes. It was laughed at by undead. In the throne room someone was hanging a huge red banner that read “Shrivel-heads must go!”… there was a piece bitten off of it.  Please note that Lordaeron was not WoW cartoonish thing. It was a very real, very well lit building, with white marble and green plants in the water.

Some times I dream inside the game.  My big joke about that is “You have no idea what effort it takes to look at myself in cartoon world from behind!”

Actually it is not 3rd person, it is 1st person and has more cartoonish banging than I care to describe.  Somehow most action takes place about that intersection between Brill and UC. No idea why.  But oh well…

moar l8r

a saying from somewhere…

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 12:07 am

“Fortune favors the brave… and then laughs, and laughs…”

“Clean conscience is a sign of a poor memory.”

on eggs

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 12:05 am

Eggs. Sunny side up. Do NOT overcook them. For the love of boobs, please do not overcook your eggs. You will taste THAT for the duration of the whole day. And please do not try flushing them down with copious amounts of anything containing alcohol. For if you throw up, it is just so much worse. In the event you do throw up in your car after eating overcooked eggs – don’t bother cleaning your car. That smell will never go away unless you set the car on fire. Please remember that the same applies to your clothes as well.  Do yourself a favor and do not eat overcooked eggs when you are trashed off your rocker. Those overcooked eggs will sit in your bowels for over three days, and right when you think you are done with this truly hellish experience, your body laughs at you, and gives you that horrible noxious gas that makes you wanna go see a doctor. Ever seen a seasoned physician gag?

There is only one thing that is more disgusting than that. Feed a dozen of hard-boiled eggs to a large dog. That will clear a room. It will also clear an entire house, the lot it stands on.

Please do not feed your dog hard-boiled eggs. Dog will be just fine. Your neighbors – not so much.

April 17, 2009

Not really a nightmare.

Filed under: dreams — Sol @ 4:41 am

Mr Sterno was a bit too sloppy to be what people call a virtuoso. Violin in his hands somehow seemed bulky and sounded like cello. A very poorly tunes cello, at that. It would also help if Mr Sterno wasn’t stopping to scratch himself in the middle of some rather complicated nauseating piece he was squeezing out of his violin. Paled and saggy cloth of his washed out red boxers was crawling with what appeared to be either white polka-dots, or malformed hearts, or maybe white paper cutouts of cartoon crabs. It would just make sense if there were crabs because of the way he was scratching himself with the bow. Scratching was not at all helped by the fact that he was wearing a tux coat and a very tasteful bow-tie. I expected to see a mustard stain on the front of the tux when Mr Sterno turned to take a bow to a silent room filled with pictures of old buildings drowning in sunlight and greens.

Old vampire hag with what I thought was a large wooden spoon  scooped something off of a ledge on the wooden log wall and raised her gnarly finger without turning around as if asking to wait a moment. A charred doll from the fireplace coughed up some sooth and went quiet. Now there were people with old guns and bad breath, filling the room with smoke and profanity laced conversations about local politics and sports. Pictures of houses were disappearing and Mr Sterno was asked to leave the stage. Hag was the first one to throw something at him. Mr Sterno dropped something wet and ran for the fireplace. Doll wanted to scream, I am sure, but the only thing that happened when Mr Sterno reached was that Mr Sterno grabbed a handful of soot and flung it back over his shoulder. Floor started smoldering… it was like burning in reverse. Some person wrapped in black cloak drew his wand and was immediately shot by some guy with an amazingly bad skin. Apes grabbed the body and started dragging it to the vampire witch who was now dressed like a paramedic. “Oil!” she hissed, and Mr Sterno dove out the window as the floor vanished into the void of the pit.

Safety in my brain flipped the channels and it became Past. Mr Sterno, Hag, Potter, proletariat farmlanders with old rifles and air of fake intelligence all were assuredly gone and for good and now this was going to be a calm dream. With things majestic and happy. With none of those ridiculous crabby-hearty and itchy underpants.

And if any of you think your explanation of this dream is required, go brush your teeth and stand in the corner. You may play with your Harry Potter there.

April 16, 2009

getting fucking fat here!

Filed under: lawls — Sol @ 11:05 pm
(02:32:46 PM) Friend: ?(02:26:16 PM) Me: and I am clearly in danger of having to schedule conjugal visits with my precious if I keep putting things in my belly
(02:32:57 PM) me: um…
(02:33:24 PM) Friend: <3
(02:33:59 PM) me: imagine someday I’ll be like “um… I have not seen my precious in months! can you see it?
(02:34:29 PM) me: and you’d be like “Oh, honey, we should get two other guys to help you lift the flap”
(02:34:53 PM) me: and then on of the guys will be like “Woah! Are those Cheetos?!”
(02:35:29 PM) me: and the other is like “I can’t lift that much, union regulations, see?”
(02:35:41 PM) Friend: ?(02:28:03 PM) me: ./ignore
(02:35:44 PM) me: and the first is like “Yeah, where be my hardhat?”
(02:36:04 PM) me: and I’d be like “omgomg it itches!”
(02:37:43 PM) me: and you’d be like “Oh, honey, that’s the third guy with a powerwasher. Remember? Ignatio, the poor migrant worker, we haven’t seen him for a month, we thought he was deported. Well apparently he is still there, making his way to your buttcrack!”
(02:39:07 PM) me: and the Sociologist at the door is like “Excuse me! You have introduced invasive species to the natives who are living in this virgin rainforest!”
(02:39:36 PM) me: and Ignatio is like “Viva la revolution, bitches!”
(02:40:00 PM) me: and the second union guy is like “we require moar pay!”
(02:40:29 PM) me: and the first union guy is like “Oh screw this, we are outta here”
(02:41:22 PM) me: and a green crotch Pygmy is like “Yo, send more cheetos – our children are starving!”
(02:42:03 PM) me: and the USAF pilot preparing Humanitarian Aid airdrop is like “hey, their women look hawt, mang!”
(02:42:39 PM) me: and Speared Sociologist at the door is like “Arrrrrrggggh!”
(02:43:23 PM) me: and a spear throwing Pigmy is like “LULZ! ./win over oppressors!”
(02:43:50 PM) me: and scollins is like “oh fuck this, we are not hosting this! this is a TOS violation!”
(02:44:44 PM) me: and a Pigmy of The Left is like “We want to have adequate representation in UN!”
(02:45:17 PM) me: and the buttcrack is like “Ugh… REPRESENT!”
(02:46:02 PM) me: and City Inspector is like “How many people do you actually have here?”
(02:46:30 PM) me: and someone from The Right ate him.
(02:47:22 PM) Friend: ?(02:34:55 PM) me: ?(02:28:03 PM) me: ./ignore
(02:49:03 PM) me: i am so posting this on blogs

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