my brain just threw up a little…

July 23, 2009


Filed under: pranks,random crazies — Sol @ 3:35 pm

standing @beaners waiting on order… some random lady standing next to me talking on her cell… says something about jousting. I look at her, she explains that some woman is mistreating her male friend, and that she was trying to be all chivalrous and was going to step in and valiantly defend her male friends honor.


in about a minute I explained to her how to get even with the misbehaving girl. Innocent practical joke that results in youtube’d vid of the victim cleaning a giant pile of shit (fake, made with PB and Salsa) off of the hood of their car. I swear to gods, the entire line and about 1/2 the patrons in that joint were taking notes… much embarrassed laughter was caused when I finished explaining how-to’s and loudly stated that for all those who did not keep up and failed to take notes, there will be a quiz next Sunday.

My neck is being a bitch. I should call my docs office and make an appointment to get this looked at. I should not prance about being all broken like that. Grrrrr.


Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 1:12 am

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009.

Jon Stewart got pie’d on his show. There goes a funny left show. Used to be respectably funny a very long time ago. And now Stewart plants his face into a fucking pie at the beginning of some segment to show how sleepy some legislation made him. He just graduated into a Full Out Clown. And he used to be respectable, once upon a time. Sigh.

July 20, 2009

drunk, but honest

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 11:40 pm

Buckwheat. The Russian stuff. You would hardly ever find this shit here in states.  People are pommeled into a retardation by commercials, so they all eat this “cereal” garbage. I hear some Kellogg dude is getting rich off of them. Cute. Really fucking cute. Not in a mood to talk about this fellow. (it might be a woman, I really do not know, I should look him/her up later)

Buckwheat. Boiled to “soft and fluffy”, water all drained, add a pinch of salt and a big pad of butter. Tons of iron, I heard. Too lazy to check. Makes me a retard, I guess… locals get their info from commercials, I got mine from old ladies talking about heavy blood-loss during periods and how this magical grain helps a great deal because it has a ton of iron… what a load of horseshit. Did I just use the word “shit” several times? You didn’t like it? Too fucking bad. I have not hit anyone in a long time. It makes me uncomfortable just to think about it. But if you give me any shit about what I wrote here, I will nick you in a jaw once. My shoulder still remembers how to. Lawyer is not going to save you there. I am not that violent, am I?

Buckwheat. Salt. Butter. Spicy meat (chicken, beef, whatever the fuck you feel like sinking your teeth in tonight) added in moderation.


I am really sick and tired of assholes getting in my shit with their goggly glassed over excited eyes asking about how things were “back there”… fuck you. Seriously. Get the fuck out of my face. I lived in THIS country for over half my life. I do not care to remember what was back there. I left it in the past. You walk over to me like a retarded fucking homunculus child with a black grimy pile in your hand, that is my past, and you are amused by me cringing. How am I to not tell you to fucking die, you piece of shit. Get the fuck away from me, alright? I can pack this shit down for a while. But if me going off right now fucking amuses you because you are not scared out of your wit, then ask yourself this question – have you ever EVER seen me go off. Never, right? Ever asked yourself “why does he not snap about THAT”… so do fucking ask yourself that.

I really do not like people sometimes.

Meat, vodka, buckwheat. Vodka must be cold. I do not have the stomach to tough this shit in by a 250ml glass at a time. I am pansy compare to those “hardcore” idiots. I will still drink many folk under the table before I go limp. Hah! I will go “limp trying.” cute…

Women. Firends. Vodka, food, smokes. Needs…. it all trickles down to Rome. “Entertainment and food”

Make us happy and make us not want things.

I really do not like people sometimes. Did you see that? I put women and friends on the same line and then I noticed it. I feel like I am flawed, but fixing of the flaw would really require a serious investment of trust in another person and $95.00 to match… something. I do not remember… some fucking thing like that.

dog upset because I growled. I’ll go hang out with the dog… she really doesn’t give a flying fuck about the accent.

July 12, 2009

CSI vs Sherlok Holmes…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 1:36 pm

I forgot how twisted and interesting CSI can be. Remember Sherlok Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? How very eloquent those stories were. How sensitive were the people. Imagine showing this episode to that English crowd reading Hound of Baskervilles.  Congressman is on trial accused of murder. Looks like he shot his mistress. His aide blows his brains out in court. Mistresses daughter is being poisoned but survives. Aides brain is taken out by same weapon that killed mistress.  Turns out aide was trying to kill mistress with poison, daughter was just unfortunate to share a drink. Real killer was congressmans wife, who got an std from congressman, who in turn got it from his mistress. STD is the reason for miscarriage. Hormonal-crazed-unpregnant wife shoots mistress, leaving gun on the scene of this murder. Congressman comes over to get some vayjayjay from his mistress, and finds her dead. Calls aide to clean up. Aide tries, but fails to keep secret.  He writes a note with “good bye cruel world, I shot the bitch, etcetcetc,” comes to court and sprays the tile with his innermost thoughts.

Show this to English 150 years ago. In color, please. So grotesque, so risque, so vivid – they won’t know what to do first, vomit or ejaculate!

What will it be 150 years from now?

A hooker congressman gets knocked up by his little brother’s daughter. Aide gets startled and kills little brother of a congressman by mistake, with lasers from his eyes while he is blowing daughters dog. Cops do not arrive at the scene because their call to the residence of murder victim was not answered and they were not given permission to approach congressman’s brothers house. Dog ends up suing the police department. Landlords cat eventually gets convicted for not charging congressman’s brother taxes for banging the dog.

The End.

July 11, 2009

ripped from’s randoms

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 10:26 pm



Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 10:11 pm

speaking of games, I just learned recently that one of my esteemed colleagues is actually playing EverQuest. That did hurt my brain. I wanted to walk over and tell this poor guy that there are better games out there. Case-point – wow…?I did not say a damn thing to this poor kid. I hope this torment of a game will get him laid. But even that is not right. One should never have to go through so much hassle, even if there is some primo vayjayjay on a stick waiting for him in the end. Poor kid… To be perfectly honest, I cannot wrap my mind about a possible scenario where playing that game would get him laid. Perhaps an insane bet? Neah. I am measuring this from my perspective. It would take a LOT of money to get me to play this game again. A lot, really…

cat thing

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 9:57 pm

I DO own a cat…


July 1, 2009

music stuffs

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 8:04 pm

on a bright side!

a big bag of awesome. I liked it, and I didn’t have to fart on anyone!

bukake-ish… wtf…

Filed under: commentary — Sol @ 8:02 pm

“There is debate on whether to class bukkake as a paraphilia such as hygrophilia, sexual arousal from contact with bodily secretions.”

(fresh from, chaps!)

Incidentally… hygrophilia”

And here is a strange one: “nasolingus (arousal from nasal mucous)”  Let me see if I understand this correctly. A person who gets aroused by snot, right? Look, this doesn’t make very much sense! I understand getting aroused by physical attributes of objects of your affection. Boobs, legs, asses, arms, calves, teeth… even feet! But snot?

“Honey, blow your nose on me, and I will pee on your foot! This is going to be great!”

“ok, but you have to poo in my hand first!”

(thirty seconds later) “Awww, you sneezed prematurely and on my leg… awww its ok, I’ll suck on your nose again in a minute…”

“you will have to strangle me a little first”

“surething, schnookums, just make sure that donkey keeps watching”

“I cannot do THAT and drive at the same time!”

“Is your little sailor outfit too snug?”

“No, its the gerbil.”

“…what gerbil?”

I bet you a dollar there is a couple out there Just Like That!

sigh. just shut up and reproduce, you fucking people…

Dear Fluffy…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:08 am

Dear Fluffy Lord!

It’s been a while since I have written to you. I think now would be a good time. I just finished another book written by Tery Pratchett, and I think it would be an excellent thing if you made it so his books were made into movies. All of them, please. I know its thirty-six of them. But look, Harry Potter books were made into movies. I know that seven is less than thirty six. But it is mainly lulz and brit humor, not swish-and-flick dramatization.


start with these


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