my brain just threw up a little…

November 27, 2009

pic stolen from friends flickr.

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 9:07 am

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Just how terribly broke and greedy must you be to live in a tent outside an electronics store for 24 hours during a national holiday… a holiday that’s there to remind us all that we have something for what we have to be thankful.  When I saw this shot on Jay’s flickr I ended up doing a double-take… and again.  I wrote this to him: “How about I live however long I’ve got to live, and before my bucket is kicked I tell the younger generations that I lived my life well. At least well enough to NOT do THAT! (and show them this picture).”

A second thought. This is a Best Buy – they have enough tape, cardboard, packaging peanuts, and shrink-wrap to build numbered boxes and rent them out to those outside. Come on – as long as we are maximizing our profits in these troubled financial times, lets double the parking spaces and join forces with Meijers across the street! Imagine the specials… If you buy 200 pairs of this underwear you will get a 1/2 off on this fridge. If you buy this washer/dryer combination we  will throw in these pretzels for free. If you buy these seasonal potted plants we will give you 10% off on this used car! I know all this is complete shit – but it is CHEAPER! And you know, penny saved is a penny earned! And you know, saving yay much money on pretzels will really be just like earning that money… perhaps earning money should not be done via coupons, but rather by means of producing stuff? Before we are all in numbered boxes.

On a brighter note – imagine PA in some large retail store being hi-jacked and remotely operated. Just run bear-porn loud enough, and everyone will just leave.

A big and hairy sounding guy roars “Ah, yes georgy, twist them, dip them in that green stuff,  and force them deep in my colon!”

Georgy (sounds like he is 12 and been smoking for 30) cackles and through the bass of porn-track says “My hand is stuck, Mom! What’s an O-ring?”

And every kid around that store simultaneously turned and said…

November 23, 2009

war

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 11:13 pm

War in and of itself is a rather barbaric way to resolve differences. In fact, according to the dictionary.com, a war is a… ”     a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air.” We, humans, fail to settle our differences by reaching agreement that leaves satisfied parties, and so we try resolving matters by force. We, humans, throw our fellow fellow humans out into a field, and we make them kill each other. We, humans, blow each other to smithereens, and it really doesn’t matter if what we blow each other up with is tied to a fellow human or a few million dollars worth of guidance equipment… we are still blowing each other up.
Fighting is much frowned upon in civilized societies. Some jerk in school carelessly steps on your toes, and you nick him in a jaw once – you are dragged off to the principles office where it is explained to you that fighting is a big nono. You are told that you have to resolve your differences  with foot-stomping jerk in a “peaceful manner.” Strange that fighting is not frowned upon if you are a country. In fact, we encourage young men and women to join the ranks of our fighting forces, and praise them a great deal for fighting valiantly. Our opponents are doing the same thing. One might say that “our democratic way is THE right way” and I will agree. And some opponent of ours will say “Our way is the right way” and there will be a ton of people agreeing with them. End result is – we are STILL blowing each other up! Clearly conformity of others is not being achieved by diplomatic means of talking and coexisting. It is not being achieved by conventional weapons either. So… ummm… is it time now to push the big red reset button and nuke everything and everyone, or will we actually pause, stop by some magical principles office and figure out that blowing each other up is kind of a bad thing to do, no matter with what side of this mess you happened to sympathize.

just a thought…

November 21, 2009

mysterious ways?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 6:15 am

vagina-search

I cannot explain this. I never put the two in the same sentence. /me head-desk /me boggle

November 17, 2009

haha

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 12:51 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRh7qHU6LqM&NR=1

um… hahaha

November 15, 2009

soups

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:46 am

chunky is better than progresso. imo. I wonder if selling pre-packaged dinner kits would be a good idea. Just have a person at a supermarket who would assist a shopper by handing them a box tagged STEW. Magical box will contain all needed ingredients, packaged into disposable dishes, tagged with cooking times etcetcetc. Shopper comes home, reads cover of the box, no prep required, everything is washed, chopped and ready to get dumped into pot (minus the water). Everything sold fresh. In fact, make guys prep all that for you at the counter, and have them give you instructions on how to cook it all up at home. Book of recipes at the front, page gets copied right there for free, calculator on a chain (yes, you thieving twats! on a fucking chain! and so is the pen! and so is the little blondie at the register, and the register too!), figure out for yourself what will it take to make that into a dinner for four or for six, go up to the counter and hand over the list. Fat guy with red face and bad breath will look it over, and burp out “Beef tips in lamb jizz with oysters and cat shit on a rye all for four”… and then “you really should not eat that while you are pregnant, Sir” and after 20 minutes he presents you with a sealed box with instructions and a reasonable pricetag.  As you leave the store you feel better about dinner tonight. It will be made with fresh ingredients. You can hear a satisfied Baaa.

Do you know how to make bread? From scratch.

and one more, to that one person

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:32 am

you may have forgotten, but I did not, and I will see that your fear of me remembering spoils your every day much in the same fashion that your failure to remember ruins my days.

to that one other person

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:29 am

hey,

you are not even worth my time telling you off, you backstabbing waste of life…

to that one person…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:22 am

hey, fuck you.

You have presented yourself in a presentable friendly fashion, as if spreading your arms to the sides, palms up, nothing short of used-car smile and we-are-all-friends banner. In a very short time you have turned yourself into a malicious, back-biting, power-hungry, piece of fucking refuse, who gets off on manipulating and tries to exert power over others by all means possible. You sure do run your mouth a lot, in company of others. You try stepping on me at times, and that’s just silly. You get a rise out of me getting angry, and that’s just reckless. You think that just because you have made a deal with your Inner Lawyer, your conscience will remain clear? Do not lie to yourself. You cannot lie to your self. You can lie to all those around you, but you cannot tell yourself lies. Go ahead, try making that puppet of your inner lawyer tell you that there is a perfectly reasonable justification for delivering a complaint to your boss, or smearing someone in your casual conversation with those near you… after all, that person you are speaking of, is worth the insult, right? See, and your inner lawyer says it is a right thing to do.  So go ahead, do it. You have nothing else to lose, you already sold that clean something that was inside to that inner lawyer for an excuse to run that little revenge, or was it a powerplay? I am not sure which it was, I just get this strong feeling that it really isn’t going to help you anymore. You have sold out in a big bad way. I hope you are religious, because the only person that would find forgiveness for you, is a fictional one. So, as I was saying… fuck you.

November 10, 2009

conversation with a friend – 4chan style

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 6:23 pm

(05:14:04 PM) me: I bet if I cut my head off and put it in a box it will cure my headache!
(05:14:18 PM) Friend: true.
(05:14:23 PM) Friend: your head will no longer hurt.
(05:15:27 PM) me: some friend you are, Woman! I am bloginating this blatant display of coldness and disinterest!
(05:16:27 PM) Friend: Good!
(05:16:40 PM) me: rudeness too…
(05:16:50 PM) Friend: of course.
(05:16:55 PM) Friend: you’d have me no other way.
(05:17:11 PM) me: shut up and come over here and hold my throbbing head or I will vomit in your cube!
(05:18:21 PM) Friend: I’ll vomit on your head, if I try to hold it.
(05:19:10 PM) me: that’s kinda hot
(05:20:33 PM) me: throbbing head… giggidy!

life’s simple pleasures

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 4:03 am

guinness, pretzels, pine nuts, snoring dog, Shakespeare in Love, level up, a little revenge, and most importantly… knowing whom to trust.

Also scratching what itches, a good laugh, a better cackle, running about naked, telling off without saying a thing, fresh laundry.

Unexpectedly… old photos. Not all. Not even family. A few old photos of old friends.

People. So many of them. Some deserve a good solid slap on the back. Others deserve one to their face. Yet others to their forehead. I will not administer any of the three.

Friends. so very very few.

Punctuation.

Say, are you wearing socks?

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