my brain just threw up a little…

June 30, 2010

magical creatures

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 10:21 pm

Centaurs – the very proof that donkey shows existed long before contraception.

gout the goat

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 10:42 am

fuck gout. fuck gout in the goat ass.

June 28, 2010

diet…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 7:00 pm

really… diet… apparently eating is bad for you. having to diet for two different reasons is a very adventurous matter. One diet dictates that there is a huge pile of food that should not be eaten, and a small pile of food that you may eat. Another diet dictates the same thing, with only difference that small piles are mutually exclusive with very few exceptions.

End result – I am sentenced to eating tacos made with no more than three pieces of lettuce, sprinkled with fat-free water, and wrapped in high-fiber toilet paper.

yay.

June 26, 2010

sidenote

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 3:31 pm

“Temete, signor, la gelosia! E` un’idra fosca, livida, cieca, col suo veleno se` stessa attosca, vivida piaga le squarcia il seno.”

June 22, 2010

vampire erotica

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:59 pm

I wondered if those ladies who like the idea of having sex with vampires ever considered that it would be an equivalent of… say… me, fucking a sandwich or a pork-pie, perhaps?

June 16, 2010

sushi-q vomitorium

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:43 am

email sent to support@campusfood.com

“Greetings!

I have placed this order at 1.15AM
order did not arrive in 50 minutes as was indicated on the website.
I called your customer service at 2.20am after not being able to reach
restaurant at direct number.
CSR was unable to reach restaurant at direct number and suggested that
restaurant is already closed for the night. CSR apologized and
suggested they will refund my money.
At 2.32AM a delivery person brought this order to our door.
Let it be clear that we expected for this delivery to contain food
that would not make me sick.
I had a few bites of this food and both me and my guest got physically
sick. Sick as in sick to our stomachs. I understand that this
restaurant is currently closed. But I would really like for someone
responsible for this so-called food to pay better attention to not
just their timing but also to quality of their food. Sushi looked and
tasted like it was in this box for quite sometime and this weapons
grade chicken was likely the reason chicken pox got its name.
I expect to NOT be charged for this mishap. Rest assured that this is
the last time I attempt to ingest anything produced by this
restaurant. I know this situation is a lose-lose for me, but I really
hope someone will stick their nose in this right and proper. I did not
pay for crappy food that arrives way late and makes me dry-heave on
both ends.
I trust you will take good care of this serious mishap.”

fuck these guys. srsly.

June 7, 2010

inside joke

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 8:36 pm

“just how badly do you want me to call you Daddy?…”

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