my brain just threw up a little…

September 28, 2010

of bats and nightingales

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 7:07 pm

A good friend posted the following on FB:

“I just discovered that mascara is bat guano… I don’t know how I feel about putting bat shit on my eye lashes just to be pretty…”

After some looking into possible presence of fecal matter on my female friends faces I have concluded the following:

According to wikipedia.org

?”The first isolation of guanine was reported in 1844 from the excreta of sea birds,[1] known as guano, which was used as a source of fertilizer. About fifty years later, Fischer determined the structure and also showed that uric acid can be converted to guanine.”

also please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanine#Other_uses

“Facial treatments using the droppings, or guano, from Japanese nightingales is currently in favor in New York, reportedly because the guanine in the droppings produces a clear, “bright” skin tone[6] that some people find desirable to attain.”

And so it came, that in the name of beauty… chicks in New York are getting “shitfaced.”

What will they put on their faces next? (please do not answer that. Let it be a surprise!)

September 26, 2010

smells

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 1:29 pm

Grease. Sweat. Deodorant. Mouthwash. Bad coffee. Fried onion. Burnt sugar. Peppers? Smokers breath. Fabric softener. Theios.

September 25, 2010

JP

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 5:18 pm

You walk into someones living-room with guests in it.

You fart.

You are asked to not do that for not one person here needs your ass in their face.

You argue. You fart.

You are asked to fuck off.

You fart.

You get thrown out.

Not once you apologize for acting like a flatulent jackass.

You get to fuck off now. Thanks for playing.

Loyalty.

Filed under: Daily Crazies — Sol @ 5:10 pm

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loyalty

September 14, 2010

qotd

Filed under: Daily Crazies — Sol @ 8:56 pm

Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

September 13, 2010

ogodlol

Filed under: gadgets — Sol @ 4:58 pm

http://adangerousbusiness.com/2010/01/05/the-museum-of-soviet-video-games/

September 10, 2010

in the eye.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 6:17 pm

I am in a crappy sour mood. I do not know why… rather… too many whys and not enough “this is how you fix this”… and the only “this is how you fix this” is the one with “shut your fucking mouth and keep your nose to the wheel so you could get paid and have enough to buy gas for next week”

Did you know that I am needy?

I miss my dog terribly. She will be back tomorrow. I have heaps of laundry to worry about. I need to put some gas in my truck. I have m… enough of this. As I was saying – I am in a sour fucking mood. Who wants to buy me a cup of coffee? (Not you, R!)

Finally!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 2:19 pm

Gods heard my prayers…

http://www.accoutrements.com/shop/products/Roast-Beef-Bubble-Gum.html

now to find beef-flavoured douche…

gum?

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 12:44 pm

Helpless virgins tied to rocks make for a lovely snack. There should be chewing gum flavored like that.

September 7, 2010

it’s her favorite…

Filed under: lawls — Sol @ 2:53 pm

Me: “Great… who ordered “Kill Bill: Part One” from Netflix?

T: “My guess would be my six year old daughter while watching movies on your netflix acct… sorry :(”

Me: “No big deal. I will just send it back. I was wondering if I should keep it for her to see… with it being so bloody and all…”

T: “it’s her favorite lol”

Me: “Heh… Daddy kills Mommy. Mommy comes back and kills Daddy and ALL of his friends and relatives. Great, kiddo…”

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