my brain just threw up a little…

October 31, 2010

some quote

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 4:05 pm

Do you know where the truth is?

Moses taught that truth comes from up there. *points finger to the sky*

Solomon taught that truth comes from here. *points at forehead*

Christ taught that truth comes from here. *points at heart*

Marx taught that truth comes from here. *points at stomach*

Freud taught that truth comes from here. *points at crotch*

And Einstein said: It is all relative.

(from some quote Pop sent to me recently. I lol’d)

October 28, 2010

similarities aside

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 5:21 pm

USA is different from Rome because Rome was never a colony.

October 27, 2010

awesome pumpkin

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 6:29 pm

deathstar-pumpkinI should’ve thought of this…

October 22, 2010

ogod

Filed under: Daily Crazies — Sol @ 3:44 pm

http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/

October 18, 2010

stfu and drop you damned pants, mang!

Filed under: commentary — Sol @ 4:49 am

So there are these new devices being implemented by TSA, that allow TSA personnel to look at you as though you were naked. Not sure how this fuckery works, but apparently it works. It is nice of them to implement that, really. This way, you see, you do not need to get naked and have some strangers paw at your junks to make sure that you do not have a stick of dynamite strapped to your cock. Not being sarcastic here! it is a good thing indeed. Look, in years to come they (TSA) will likely implement even more advanced scanners that will not even require of you to take your shoes off. SciFi bit here, I know, but imagine getting scanned on the go. No long queues, no xray machines for your luggage, no digging for “A dildo” (as opposite to “YOUR dildo” because they will be able to tell your sheeps bloodtype from scanning your luggage), no hassles… Travelers should just rejoice and cheer to the fact that there is some progress being made to making this check-in procedure quick and hassle-free.

But no… there is always some righteous asshole who gives those poor TSA bastards a raftload of shit for doing their job.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig11/roberts-m1.1.1.html

Please note that I used “righteous” because “Malo Periculosam Libertatem Quam Quietum Servitium” is pretty damn righteous.

(that’s  “I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery” for those not fluent in Latin. I had to look this one up! Put the sock back in.)

One would say  “I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery” if their liberty is really endangered and their peace requires them slaving away in a hole with shackles and maggots eating their children or some such. Blowing that a little out of proportion, pal!

So this dude refuses to step through the machine. Well, maybe he is afraid of radiation, or feels very uncomfortable about some poor TSA person looking at his junk. Alright, perhaps he wants to have an old traditional skin-on-skin experience with a man/woman in uniform? No, he doesn’t. He wants to just not be searched because he did not set off the metal-detector and therefore should be let through.

If I was working with the TSA, I would very likely make him drop them pants. His liberty is not being violated here. You deal with law-enforcement every day in some way or another. Be it a cop pulling you over for going too fast, or be it you paying your taxes. You deal with laws being enforced all the time. Why sudden gripe with a law that was put in place to protect you on the flight? Your kidneys are not being removed as a safety measure. You are not being asked to strip naked and sing some rendition of Macho Men. Step through the machine, or get in that isolated room and drop yer pants, dude!

See, I for one, am saddened by the fact that they got those machines in place. Now I cannot wave my junks at those poor TSA guys. Imagine going through a strip-search with a blue fancy ribbon tied around your junk. “Officer, my date last night told me that I really made his day.”

sigh

Don’t bitch about small things like that airport security – worry about liberties that really matter getting yanked from under your feet while you are pissing boiling water about cops doing their job, you dolt!

October 17, 2010

off the wall…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 2:27 pm

Remembering that one should start conversations with things pleasant, be open about things, be friendly, and gain their attention, I started that conversation with: “Vagina!”

Friend is yet to reply…

I fear he might have interpreted that greeting as “DUCK!”

October 14, 2010

A footnote from Fool by Christopher Moore

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 5:21 pm

“By St. Cardomon’s scaly feet”—the legend goes that St. Cardomon was a monk from Italy to whom the Archangel Raziel appeared, asking for a drink of water. While looking for water, Cardomon accidentally wandered into a cave that led into hell. There he was lost for forty days and forty nights, and while his feet burned when he first arrived, he soon developed the green and scaly feet of a lizard, and was protected from the fires of hell. When he returned to the angel with a flagon of ice-water (which no one had seen before), he was granted the gift of scaly feet for all time and it is often said that a woman with feet so rough that they will tear the bedsheets are “blessed by St. Cardomon.” Cardomon is the patron saint of combination skin, cold beverages, and necrophilia.

stoled from samagrams thingy

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 12:14 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7kdU24M6iQ&feature=player_embedded#!watch?v=a7kdU24M6iQ&feature=player_embedded#!

cookie

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 2:50 am

so… I wanted a cookie. And I am too damn broke. And I am too damn lazy to walk to Meijers. And I have a few ingredients for what I think would be cookies.

so… I went about internets and I tried finding a recip… and before any of you bastards go “oh hey look at my mad google-fu, I found 10000000000 cookie recipe…. STFU! google.com found them. And google.com found them for me too. Put a sock in it! I did not find what I was looking for because I did not want to find it. Me looking was more of a formality justifying to myself that it will be OK to spend time and effort and resources on “invent a cookie.”

so…

STFU!

so…

it is in the oven. a monster cookie. Don’t ask what’s in it! I really do not remember how much of what I put in there. It was a cookie improvisation! It will likely taste like charred ass and make you vomit. I made it thick… this way, you see… if some asshole rolls up to you and says “In this country, we drink pepto…” you could totally step in and take out his knee, try to catch him and crash-land on his chest with a knee on his solar and vomit on his face.

“Your honor! I fell… sorry…”

It is beeping – this will be the most horrible cookie ever. ogod…

./palmface

I am allergic to commercial advertisement

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 2:40 am

To the filthy asshole who heard me say “I am allergic to commercials” and who actually approached me and said “hey buddy, better get use to it, that’s how its done IN THIS COUNTRY.”

fuck you.

no, seriously. Not kidding. You are a piece of human refuse who needs to not speak and get back to school.  Do not come back to speak AT me until you have three degrees in something other than being a half-failed fucktard. Do human race a favor and go die. kthxbye

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