my brain just threw up a little…

January 29, 2011

I had no idea…

Filed under: commentary,random crazies — Sol @ 2:58 am

The lyrics to “Danny Boy” were written by the English lawyer and lyricist Frederic Weatherly in 1910. Although the lyrics were originally written for a different tune, Weatherly modified them to fit “Londonderry Air” in 1913 when his sister-in-law in America sent him a copy.[1] Ernestine Schumann-Heink made the first recording in 1915. Weatherly gave the song to the vocalist Elsie Griffin, who in turn made it one of the most popular songs in the new century. In 1928, Weatherly suggested that the second verse would provide a fitting requiem for the actress Ellen Terry.

There are several theories as to the true meaning of “Danny Boy”.[2] The song has been interpreted by some listeners as a message from a parent to a son going off to war or leaving as part of theIrish diaspora. The 1918 version of the Sheet Music included alternative lyrics (“Eily Dear”), with the instructions that “when sung by a man the words in italic should be used, the song then becomes “Eily Dear”, so that “Danny Boy” is only to be sung by a lady”. However, it is unclear whether this was Weatherly’s intent, or simply a publisher’s note. Weatherly acknowledged that “Danny Boy” was sung “all over the world by Sinn Feiners and Ulstermen alike”. Weatherly also noted that the song had “nothing of the rebel song in it, and no note of bloodshed”.

The song is widely considered an Irish anthem, although Weatherly was an Englishman. Nonetheless, “Danny Boy” is considered by many Irish Americans and Irish Canadians to be their unofficial signature song [3]

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Boy

also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Londonderry_Air

oh, and ofcourse:

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer’s gone, and all the roses are falling

‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow

Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow

‘Tis I’ll be there in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And when ye come, and all the flow’rs are dying

If I am dead, as dead I well may be

Ye’ll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an “Ave” there for me.

And I shall hear, tho’ soft you tread above me

And oh, my grave shall warmer, sweeter be

For ye will bend and tell me that you love me

And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.

January 28, 2011

CRAZY WOMAN STRIKES AGAIN!!!

Filed under: Daily Crazies — Sol @ 10:50 pm

Day 12:

Dear Diary, after a busy day at work, I came home. Guess what… I walked into a wall of most fantastic, head-spinning, dazzling olfactory orgasm! Smells of salmon, spices, mushrooms, and who knows what other amazing deliciousness mixed with a hum of my dryer nearly made me drop the bag of dog-food that I just picked up from Meijers. There was a casserole dish with spiced salmon, neighboring two frying pans on my stove. One frying pan had mushrooms with glazed onions, the other had citrus chicken. The two were hugging each other, and the fumes from the two were making my mouth water, like overwhelming pheromones from special bits one about to dive into face first.

I feel compelled to sacrifice some virgins to gods for sending me this amazing house-guest. A couple of goats won’t cut it. Perhaps a couple of apes?

She took towels out of the dryer. (AGAIN!!!)

And she just made tea. (AGAIN!!!)

Yeah, this will have to be a couple of fucking primates, at least.

Lady, when you get to read this, I want you to know that I am endlessly thankful for all the kindness and care you have shown me. You are awesome. I adore you for being THAT cool to me. Thank You.

=D

January 27, 2011

good times

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 2:54 am

dinner with friends, good tea, awesome cookies, good show after… it is way past my bedtime. sleep.

January 26, 2011

a quote

Filed under: dreams,lawls,random crazies — Sol @ 11:27 am

“The lion eats all of her except her head, in her dream.  He leaves the head, and one of her hands, just as a housecat leaves the parts of a mouse it has no desire for; for later; or as a gift.

She wishes that he had eaten her head, then she would not have had to look.  Dead eyelids cannot be closed, and she stares, unflinching, at twisted thing her brothers have become.  The great beast eats her little sister more slowly; and, it seems to her, with more relish and pleasure than it had eaten her; but then, her little sister had always been its favorite.

The witch removes her white robes, revealing a body no less white, with high, small breasts, and nipples so dark they are almost black.  The witch lies back upon the grass, spreads her legs.  Beneath her body, the grass becomes rimed with frost.  “Now,” she says….

And when the two of them are done, sweaty and sticky and sated, only then does the lion amble over to the head on the grass and devour it in its huge mouth, crunching her skull in its powerful jaws, and it is then, only then, that she wakes.”

(From “The Problem of Susan” by Neil Gaiman)

ding dong

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls,pranks,random crazies — Sol @ 10:42 am

Place where I work… front door has a very boring Ding-Dong kinda doorbell. Someone should sample “The internet is for porn” make a midi and have it chime when someone pushes a button at the front door.

a thought on a custom

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 10:40 am

In the age of prosperity people should develop a custom of not walking around empty-handed. Custom should be to always carry a piece of food with you.  To indicate (rejoice in fact) that we all have something to eat. People will no longer greet each other with “Good morning!”

It will be “Good carrots!” or “Good pineapple!” or “Good turkey!” and “Good celery!”

I’ll just walk about with my hand on my junk. Tell me how good my junk is and leave me the fuck alone!

January 25, 2011

holy shit…

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies — Sol @ 9:08 pm

For the last ten days dog and I had a house-guest. A friend from the horde-hill came over and is staying with us. Why? Because I like company and she needs a place to stay for a couple of weeks away from her own place. Little did I know what I was getting into. I was in for a serious surprise. A very pleasant surprise too. No, not THAT kind of a surprise, we are not dating or shagging, and we are not planning on it either. We are friends and it is really awesome. Surprise part, you ask? Why let me tell you! Apparently I forgot what it is like to have a woman in my house. In the last ten days this amazing person cooked dinners. I mean… “On your way back home from work, I need you to pickup the following list…” I bring in stuff, and she makes DINNER. No joke. Actual dinner, guys! I do not lift a finger. I offer to help, and I am being told to go back to what I was doing, or I am asked a question like “what did you want to drink with this?” And after a fantastic dinner before I have a chance to lift my ass out of the chair she knocks out all the dishes.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

This woman takes care of my dog. I mean… for real – walks her every two hours or so and plays with her.

And if that wasn’t all manner of awesome, she further amazed me by… (drums roll) … she cleaned my house. I mean… dusted, swept, wiped, damn near everywhere she could set her foot at, and she even cleaned her hair out of the shower drain-catch.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

So last night I threw a load of my clothes into the washer before I went to bed. Naturally I forgot about it in the morning when I was running to work. Guess what, when I texted her later in the afternoon letting her know about my plans for tonight (to finish laundry, to write more, to watch two shows etc) you know what this woman told me? She said that she already got my laundry out of the washer, that she already dried it, and it is now in the basket waiting to be put away. I sat there, stunned with disbelief, as if someone just showed me a picture of two shaved koalas blowing each other.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

You know what she pulled off yesterday? She started making me a vest. Why? Because I’d look hot in a fucking vest. So she is making me a vest.

yeah… let all that sink in a bit.

I forgot what it is like to have a WOMAN in my house.

holy. fucking. shit.

oh, if all that wasn’t enough – she got bored and knitted some. She made a thingy to grab hot pots and pans, because my old grippy thingy for grabbing hot pots and pans was not to her satisfaction. Dear Fluffy Lord, did someone answer my prayer and shot me twice in the back of the head, and this is the idea of heaven for evildoers like Yours Truly? I find it very much plausible. Well… thanks for letting me in – this is really quite awesome! Grippy hot-pads… a woman… who is being super-nice to me. Did I reflect my feeling on the matter by saying “Holy Fucking Shit” yet?

This woman can come hang out anytime, I so decree! rawr

back to dinner now… later we get to play with the stinking dog, write crazy things, watch a couple of shows, and go pass out. And you know what’s really stunning on top of it all? (aside from her and I not shagging lol) There will be hot tea and a muffin and oatmeal in the morning before work.

Yo, Dear Fluffy… thanks !

As promised…

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 12:41 pm

Surely there is some child out there who thinks that Little Red Riding Hood is an evil bitch. There has to be one kid who thinks that LRRH is a conniving temptress, leading on the Big Bad Wolf(e) with her “basket of goodies” and playing innocent requiring some protection on her travels. Added innocence in her soon revealed destination – “I am going to visit my ill grandmother.” And when geriatric harlot (aka Grandma The Sick) seduces the chivalrous and noble Wolfe, Little Red Riding Hood sees Wolfe “eating Grandma…” she feels crossed, and in the feat of jealousy decides to off them both. Being an evil and conniving little shit she finds an accomplice whose involvement pretty much guarantees that the traitorous wench and her new boy-toy are going down. She brings in The Hunter. Old family friend who just could not afford Grandma and was smart enough to not try anything with LLRH “The Jailbait that’s worth it.”

LLRH turns on her waterworks, tells The Hunter that Big Bad Wolfe is a Hannibal Lecter and that he is finishing off grandmas buttocks, and matter-of-factly mentions that she just turned eighteen. Ten minutes later hunter is spraying the house with buckshot cowboy style, and more of the cowboy style a second later when he tosses in a torch, and after getting their story straight they ride off into sunset. On the way to the sunset LRRH ganks Hunter’s wallet and skips out at the nearest rest-stop. The End.

cave runaways

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 3:34 am

Two naked people woke up in the dim light on a muddy floor surrounded by dampness and cold. Clothes covered in dirt and sweat strewn about them. She spat, than coughed and spat again. Bloody snot landed on his foot. He did not move. She waved her dirty hand and muttered hoarsely “sorry…” He groaned and tried to sit up. There was blood caked to his face, like a map of Texas stretching from his right temple and down his cheek. He laid back down and covered his face with his forearms as if trying to shield himself from the light. She tried to stand up smearing grey mud on her already mud covered bottom. He made a choking noise, drew his legs up instinctively, rolled to the left and dry-heaved. She wobbly made her way to the puddle by the wall of the cave and started washing up.

“Do you think we lost them?” she said in a still hoarse voice.

He replied with violent coughing and a finger partially raised over his shoulder. She wasn’t looking at him. He finished his coughing and in a barely audible whisper answered “How should I know, they are…” He was interrupted with soft sniffing. He rolled back to the right ignoring the shooting pain. She was facing away from him, facing towards the darkness of the cave, head raised slightly, sniffing at something, much like a dog. Quickly and on his four, he skittered over to her feet, facing in the same direction and sniffed the damp air hear the ground. They could both smell it. Unmistakable scent of an animal, dirty fur, old blood, breath, it was all rising slowly, in thin, barely perceptible wafts like ink through water. They did not need to talk about this. They both knew what it was, or who it was. They bolted for their clothes and shoes, and immediately froze, stunned with fear. Another Dog was standing at the exit, her muzzle low to the ground, eyes reflecting dim light, staring with no emotion.

He reached for the nearest rock and was immediately knocked off his feet by her flying body. They landed in the heap. His first instinct was to push up and get back to his feet, but before he had a chance to push away he screamed. A pair of jaws bigger than those on any dog was clamped around his knee and flesh-tearing force was pulling him away from her and from the center of the cave. He swung and swung again bu that was no more effective than a toddler swinging at an alligator. He looked up and saw the girl face down in the puddle. She was pinned down by another dog. This dog was standing with its front paws on her shoulder blades, its bared silent teeth at the back of the prone girl’s neck.

January 20, 2011

QOTD

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 12:04 pm

“Sounds like something I would do in a hot tub filled with peptobismol, with two thai hookers, and a rubber chicken…”

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