my brain just threw up a little…

May 18, 2011

“Like Bear”

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 12:23 pm

sigh… I am just never living this shit down… oh well. no point letting this get me frustrated… like bear.
I love you guys. **finger**

Castle

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies — Sol @ 11:50 am

season finale – dissapoint. more later… no, wait… why more? it is not worth the time. screw it.

May 17, 2011

dur?

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 11:42 am

Comcast called… offering their services. I explained to the stuttering lady on the phone that I already have their services. She kept trying to offer them to me. I asked her how she got my phone number. She said she got it from my account with Comcast. I let that sink in a bit. She continued offering services I already have. I asked her to leave a note on my account explicitly forbidding any further attempts to try to get me as a customer for Comcast. She confirmed the note by reading it back to me. I thanked her and hung up.
I wonder if she will ever… neah! prolly not.

May 16, 2011

taxes

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies — Sol @ 1:36 pm

dear county. fu.

May 15, 2011

madman-1, madam-0… um… yeah…

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies — Sol @ 12:43 pm

Let me see if I get this right.
A 60some year old grandmother of five is on vacation on some bum-fucking canary island. She sees a drunken mad man following her. Drunken mad man is known to locals, and holds a notoriety for being violent, dangerous, and insane. She walks into some office (full of local people, who are aware that they have a lunatic running freely in their neighborhood). She complains to the staff and security about this boozed up raving/raging looney. Not one of them picks up the phone and telephones their local police department. She walks out only after the madman is sent away by a security guard. Instead of going to the police station or getting to the phone, this poor woman walked into some local shop where the perp caught up with her. Fourteen stabbing neck-wounds later, man known to local as “the prophet” was running down the street with a butcher knife and a severed head. Well done security guard!
Please note that this fellow was recently released from a nuthouse. Well done shrinks!

For more details: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/15/woman-beheaded-tenerife-man-remanded

From Unseen Academicals

Filed under: QOTD — Sol @ 10:26 am

“Yes, ofcourse, but I do not think you should PP just like that. Remember what that young lady said about UU?”

May 12, 2011

The End

Filed under: QOTD — Sol @ 10:10 am

imagine this… splinted leg, torn up briches, shit-stained ill fitting tunic, horse-drape made of burlap wrapped around hunched over figure. Hand ridden with gout and poly shakes. Dirty broken off fingernails holding a chipped clay bowl with stains of last days supper. Matted hair hanging low underneath the burlap cowl. If you look closely you will see a face swollen with an infected jaw, dry specs of blood on cracked lips, and an awful boil on the upper eyelid. And comes the voice, from the past so unimaginably painful that you can practically feel the void of any comfort and overabundance of misery. “Alms.” Hoarse and mispronounced anymore, almost slurred into a single sound. “Alms for the poor, your lordship.” Like a single word to remind itself it still exists, like a submarine ping in the bottomless dark ocean of misery, rain, and emotional abyss… “Alms!” And you feel torn between throwing something into this chipped, stolen, clay bowl, to allow for the misery to continue, thus Helping Misery to exist, or to ignore it and let it perish, and put it out of your mind forever… And as you ponder, as you watch your coin of choice balance finely on its edge with such grace this burlap-wrapped creature never fathomed, you realize that this voice begging for scraps had just changed. Begging voice just became a gurgle. The beggar slumped over dropping his bowl, fell under your horse and expired. Your trusted steed sensing death released the contents of his bowels all over the dead body and carried you off into sunset. The End

May 11, 2011

from an earlier conversation with a friend

Filed under: QOTD — Sol @ 12:46 pm

12:00 Friend (and I got laid, that always helps my mood)
12:42 Me hey! I got laid last night too
12:43 Me it was great!
12:43 Me I never knew it is possible to accomplish that with a shoe-horn, rubber glove, and an electric can-opener!

May 9, 2011

Cheek to Cheek (|)

Filed under: lawls — Sol @ 7:58 pm

People have been singing this song for decades, and not one person seems to mind the malodorous connotation in the title. (it’s good to be twelve years old sometimes)

May 8, 2011

stuck…

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 10:03 pm

Would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a mule

A mule is an animal with long funny ears
he kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
he’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
and by the way if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

Oh would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a pig

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
his shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He’s fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don’t care a feather or a fig
you may grow up to be a pig

Oh would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a fish

A fish won’t do anything but swim in a brook
he can’t write his name or read a book
to fool the people is his only thought
and though he’s slippery he still gets caught
but if then that sort of life is what you wish
you may grow up to be a fish

a new kind of jumped up slippery fish

And all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo
everyday you see quite a few
so you see it’s all up to you,
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star

 

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