my brain just threw up a little…

December 30, 2011

Mythbusters please?

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 11:18 pm

A co-worker just dropped this copy-pasta on me:

 

I  used to work at a bar and had Friday morning cleaning detail after $7  all-you-can-drink Thursdays.  One Friday I opened up and walked in to a  thick, really sour, pungent funk in the air.  There was usually some  isolated puke, but this was worse.  I began my usual routine starting at the front door (easiest area),  working back towards the bar, and finally ending with the restrooms.  It  wasn’t until I made it into the hallway leading to the restrooms that I  found the source.  There was shit covering the wall, starting around  waist height and splattering up from there.  WTF?  How could this have  happened?  I scraped it off the best I could with a cardboard box and  bleached the wall.  Unfortunately it didn’t end there.  I opened the  door to the women’s restroom and was hit with a blast of warm, moist  air.  I could taste it.  Whoever was responsible finished emptying their  bowels all over the floor and walls of the bathroom.  It was all I  could do to keep from covering the shit-covered bathroom in puke.  I didn’t learn the backstory until that evening.  One of the local  college girls (who were notorious for taking laxatives to maintain their  weight) had an explosive shit hit her as she was waiting in line to use  the restroom.  Her pants were so tight that the shit squeezed out the top of her jeans and sprayed up her back and onto the wall. Apparently it came in waves, and she ended up shitting all over the  floor/walls of the bathroom as well.  Apparently she was fairly good  looking… the coworker relaying the details finished the story with a  wink and a grin, “I would have wiped her down and taken her home.”  Egh.

December 29, 2011

hookers and booze… he is doing his part. I LOL’d

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies,QOTD — Sol @ 2:17 pm

“The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to MexicoHonduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I’ve been doing my part.”

(marc farber  –  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_Faber#Writings )

December 28, 2011

Honor meme, anyone? SOUPPAKU!

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies,QOTD — Sol @ 11:09 am

The only way this man will restore his honor is by televised seppuku. Using one of those devices he failed to deliver on time. There is one problem. His spelling is so bad – he will bukake himself instead of seppuku.

It is neither a seppuku. nor a bukake. It is a… SOUPPAKU! To restore ones honor lost in denizens of internets, one kills him/herself with an open can of cold noodle-soup in a slow and intentionally sexy way. If It does not result in a video sexy enough to be used by others as an aid for sexual gratification (porn), then his/hers honor is further besmirched, universe as we know it ends because of Rule 34 Fail, and economy is further ruined because soup sales drop.

December 27, 2011

just why bother gaming anymore?

Filed under: Daily Crazies,random crazies,screen-shots — Sol @ 11:37 pm

Please disregard previous post. I think I am alright compared to this guy.

Filed under: commentary — Sol @ 12:51 pm

I think I am really alright if compared to THIS guy…

“A babysitter and trusted neighbor has confessed that he bludgeoned a 9-year-old Indiana girl to death with a brick then dismembered her, hiding her head, hands and feet at his home and dumping the rest of her remains nearby, police said Tuesday.
Allen County sheriff’s investigators said in an affidavit that 39-year-old Michael Plumadore admits he killed Aliahna Lemmon on Dec. 22.
According to the affidavit, Plumadore told police that after beating Aliahna to death, he stuffed her body into trash bags and hid her in the freezer at his trailer. He said he later chopped up her body and stuffed her remains into freezer bags.
Police said Plumadore told them he had hidden Aliahna’s head, feet and hands at his trailer and that he had discarded her other remains at a nearby business. Police obtained a warrant to search his trailer on Monday and found the body parts.”

Well, alright, I must be off my rocker, because after reading this, I thought this: “Walmart must’ve had a good special on freezer bags.”

Erectile Confession

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls,random crazies — Sol @ 12:23 pm

From an earlier conversation with a friend:

me: is this wrong?
really

Friend: ?

me: is this so bad?
does this make me a BAD MAN ?

Friend: what? does what?

me: I was reading this news article
and it gave me wood
http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/27/world/meast/egypt-virginity-tests/
i am a bad man

Friend: haha, it depends, what part gave you wood
?

me: yes

Friend: If I was a guy, and could get wood, it was this part…
“The military tortured me, labeled me a prostitute and humiliated me by forcing on me a virginity test conducted by a male doctor where my body was fully exposed while military soldiers watched,”
o no, Im a bad man too!

me: I am blogging this

Friend: o gods!
the answer is, yes
you are a horrible, vile man

me: aye

Friend: exactly the kind of man my daddy warned me about while growing up

me: that’s me

Friend: and that is why I love you to pieces!
laugh

me: careful with the L-word there, Lady

Friend: hey now, I just mean, in that friend-way

me: nod

Friend: I gotta run, im picking up my sister’s dirty laundry

December 26, 2011

“Dragan”

Filed under: Did You Know,Engrish,random crazies — Sol @ 10:50 am

Old English “Dragan” apparently was predecessor to “Draw” ( with all its 70 or so definable meanings ).

You could probably build a sentence drawing on your drawn draws of drawing draw a draw… and get away with it … without getting drawn.

December 25, 2011

well, that’s just tandy…

Filed under: commentary,screen-shots — Sol @ 12:54 pm

ah… fukung…

Filed under: random crazies — Sol @ 11:04 am

http://fukung.net/v/42532/86376566943a17a62340742e20142342.jpg

December 23, 2011

Happy cave with some holiday, spirits, dogs, and fish-fried rice

Filed under: commentary,random crazies — Sol @ 11:06 pm

Tonight: Cooking, drinking guinness, hanging out with Gingin, and watching this rather disappointing ru-made supew-hewwo flick with a … **get this** – a “flying car.”

(in case if you missed ref to “get this – a flying car”, do yourself a favor and watch this http://youtu.be/-9iSFy3mG3o That, children, is how trolling is done! fyi)

Flick is on netflix. Called “Black Lightning.” I am not sure if I will be able to make it through the last 40mins of this awful rip-off-compilation. I think there must be a conspiracy behind it. It is created to make people bored, so they watch porn instead. Just a thought…

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