I’ve discovered what could only be described as a combination of “WTF” and “./facepalm”
“./lampcafe”
(please note – ./lampcafe® and ./cafelamp® are registered trademarks under ./immortalized(™) )
(please also note that ./immortalized(™) denounces any affiliation with ./fecalmap® and all inquiries pertaining to ./fecalmap® can be addressed with our Legal Dept.)
I want to know more about this person who actually buys THAT for THAT purpose. Do you just wake up one morning, and between stretching in the shower and brushing your teeth you just randomly go “BAMM!!! I think later in the afternoon Ima gonna shag me some plushy pony. Yeah! That’s a great idea!”, or does this take some serious childhood abuse and dramatic traumatic fondling by your grandma dressed as a priest?
“Noodling” – one has to be very lonely to start fisting a fish in the mouth.
this is leading up to the best “osh!…” ever
how can one explain that to the following three:
A) ER personnel
B) Insurance adjuster
C) St Peter
Coworker: if he was a real man he’d have the right amount of air in the rear tire
Me: Hmm… so.. what you are saying is that Real Man would be doing this one a bike that’s on fire, with a backwards seating, on a wooden square wheel, with his 4ft penis, while drinking a 5th of Jack, smoking a cigar, strangling a lion, going up-hill at 160mph, while ignoring the engulfing flames and emanating aura of unapproachable cool… yes?
Coworker: fuck yes
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