my brain just threw up a little…

December 31, 2012

Happy New Year!

Filed under: Daily Crazies,immortalized (™),random crazies — Sol @ 8:46 pm

I think my parents (both in their 70’s now) could never imagine that on the last day of 2012 they would be in FL, doing a shot of vodka, with their son… on “skype.”

Clink the shotglass to webcam, cheer, and stop to ponder just for a moment… I did.

Hey, you know, I’ll just do one more shot. Just for you. I remember everything and everyone. I assure you, I remember you too. So here is to Us and fuck Them. Clink the screen and down the hatch! Happy New Year!

 

Much Love

Sol

 

P.S. If you think you are an exception, then you will fucking choke on that shot, snarf it, and everything to you will taste like hobo-cock wrapped in a twat-waffle till 2014 . cheers, bitches.

 

From an earlier conversation with a person who sold me dog-food.

Filed under: Daily Crazies,immortalized (™),lawls,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 5:19 pm

“So, what you are telling me is that the best thing about this girl was her dog, right?”

“… um… yeah!”

December 29, 2012

this is the part where you…

Filed under: commentary,random crazies — Sol @ 8:19 pm

this is the part where you drop what you are doing and say “hey, I should go over there and have a drink with him because it is a good idea!”

or!

this is the part where you drop what you are doing and say “hey, I should go over there and drag his ass out to a pub and make him buy me a drink and make fun of the crowd… because it is a good idea!”

why?

well. I just asked my dogs for a permission to get a few drinks in me out of boredom. And they gave me different answers.

So, fuck this, I want a pint.

Anyone?

 

Grimm’s Fairy Tales (and dogs)

Filed under: Daily Crazies,dreams,random crazies — Sol @ 5:14 pm

Apparently my dogs like fairy tales. I just finished reading one of the Grimm’s fairy tales to the dogs. The one about an old goat leaving her seven kids to fend for themselves while she is gone to fetch some food for them. Long and short of it, Big Bad Wolf duped the kids into opening the door and ate all of them but one. The one that was not gobbled up was the one that smartly hid inside a clock case. That would be Breaking and Entering, Kidnapping, and Cannibalism. Latter is arguable, seeing how wolves and goats are different species, see? Mommy goat gets home to find her house a mess and six of the kids missing. Seventh kid tells her what happened. After a considerably brief period of mourning they go out to the woods to find the wolf (because, you know, this is what goats do, go into the woods to find wolves). And soon they locate the sleeping wolf. Upon close examination Mother Goat figures out that her six babies are not dead and are wiggling inside the wolf’s belly. She sends her surviving kid back home to fetch thread, needle, and scissors. Kid brings it all to her and she performs some manner of gastric C-section on the sleeping wolf. Now… here I would like to point out that she did have an option to just outright end the monster in his slumber. Look, clearly the beast is smart and dangerous, right? Even a goat can understand it. Well, alright, maybe not THIS goat. This a special kind of a goat that leaves her kids alone, mourns a few seconds after 6 of seven of her children are eaten, and then goes to look for the wolf in the forest. Fine! So instead of outright killing the monster in its sleep this goat concocts this diabolical revenge scheme. Get this, she cuts the wolf open, pulls her six still breathing and happy kids out of the monsters belly and sends them off to the river to bring her some riverstones. She packs his gut full of rocks and stitches it up. You may ask how the hell didn’t the monster didn’t wake up and kill the dumb goat along with the remaining kid? I have no idea. Perhaps Wolf went through Goat’s medicine cabinet and got all the drugs she had stashed away. I’d wager she had some serious knock out pills somewhere. Seven kids… yeah, you will need some heavy drugs to sleep well. So she stitches up the wolf with goat knows how many rocks in his gut and hides to watch. Wolf wakes up feeling post-op thirsty, still groggy and delirious. And it is in this state that he decides to get some water out of the nearest well. According to the only eye-witnesses present (goats), this wolf “FELL” into the well. Right, sure he did.

Dogs commentary was “Moral of this story is – she committed a murder, and unless there is no statute of limitation in that forest in 18-19th century, she is not guilty and free to go. Got any more bacon?”

December 26, 2012

word of the day

Filed under: Daily Crazies,immortalized (™),QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 3:31 pm

schlongsenge(™)

 

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!

From http://imgur.com/r/funny/Xecfp

 

December 20, 2012

Up.

“yay crazy busy spinning wheels sparks flying chattering teeth eyes can’t stop moving hey look an apple fuck the apple here is a server kinda day

but if I get my grubby little paws on some med-grade uppers, my head will fly off and start zooming around the office, shooting lasers out of it’s eyes, while my body will continue building servers while screaming “swing-low-sweet-chariot” out of its ass in a voice remarkably resembling that of AC/DC lead singer.”

 

(from an earlier conversation with a friend)

from FB post… too good…

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies,immortalized (™),lawls,QOTD — Sol @ 12:45 pm

“Ever since Obama was re-relected my dog has lost his sex drive.”

December 11, 2012

Odd breed, no?

Filed under: Daily Crazies,immortalized (™),random crazies — Sol @ 10:48 pm

“Great Dane and Chihuahua? It looks much like a horse-sized dog beating off with a furry, squeaky, prolapsed Fleshlight which is clumsily holds in its gargantuan front paws.”

 

(From an earlier conversation)

December 9, 2012

stolen from friend’s post

Word of the day: “Shagittarius”

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