my brain just threw up a little…

September 26, 2018

You are what you eat, right?

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls,QOTD,random crazies — Sol @ 12:38 pm

John:
I quit smoking. Eight days now

Me:
oh! well done you
patch?

John:
Cold turkey; I got really sick last week and basically slept for a bit over 24 hours straight. After that I was like, meh, made it this far.

Me:
makes sense
feeling better?

John:
yarr

Me:
excellent, soon enough you will start jogging
and yoga
and lifting

John:
hahaha

Me:
and get healthy
and start travelling
and end up in some port in Micronesia
perched atop some bench
and locals will mistaken you for a bird, clock you over the head with a club studded with sharks teeth, and eat you.
Very healthy bird.

John:
That sounds rather painful XD

Me:
nah, you will live on as essence with tribal leaders
Your left buttock which will be eaten by Mrs Gurgle (shaman’s wife) will actually make history.
After the rest of the humanity will perish in nuclear fire, your bum will live on with child of a child of a child of a child of Mrs Gurgle. That child will have the spirit of your left buttock and will be the leader of the free world. (only a lot less Trumpy).
Interestingly enough, at about the same time there will be a rise of mutated sentient sharks. No one will know why these sharks build underwater monuments dedicated to their deity, and why these monuments so strongly resemble a pair of feet attached to a relatively small torpedo.
(Yes, there are some things cannibals just do not eat and throw overboard of their canoes)
(I bet when you woke up this morning you didn’t think that this will be a topic for some dudes’ fevered imaginative speculations, eh?)

September 9, 2018

“Judgemental”

People like throwing this word around when they do not like someone’s opinion.

Everyone has opinion(s). Not agreeing with an opinion is not an issue. Handling it can be an issue.

Live and let live, you buncha dirty apes.

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