my brain just threw up a little…

March 28, 2012

apt 23

“Dear Brain,

Today you have sent some leftover Chinese food down your esophagus, which naturally landed here for processing. We regret to inform you that processing of aforementioned food will not be taking place and it is being sent back because you were watching a show called “apt 23.” I refuse to work in these abhorrent conditions and I expect that this is going to be an educational experience for both you and I. Chiefly for You, so you would know better than sending food in for processing while watching this terrifying rubbish. And for me, so I do not wait for six minutes of the premier to let myself gag and start the nutrient rejection proceedings.

A soothing cup of ginger tea, a biscuit, and an hour of blank wall are expected as reparations for this egregious trespass, Sir.

Sincerely yours,


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