my brain just threw up a little…

September 12, 2009

oh my…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sol @ 4:43 am

Dear Woman.

Please go away. At this point in our relationship, it is best that you just leave. Lets just dodge this ugly baby of the romance, which will grow up to be a rather fat slow human, who on the best of days will not enrage bus drivers thus not provoking them into a vehicular homicide. We are at the stage where it is not too late to pull out! You have sent me a message laced with nonchalant suggestions of how how little you care for my interests, and how important it is for you to uphold your interests. As though my interest in you is a driving force comparable to that of a mac-truck. As though you are the epitome of perfection, beauty, grace, and wisdom, sought after by all humans equipped with testicles and anything resembling libido inhibiting their common sense. You must be expecting every single male on this side of the planet running after you with deed to their house in their left hand, their wallet in their right, a 2.6Kt engagement ring in their teeth, balancing a book of poetry written just for you on their head full of hair,  clenching their sculpted buttocks on the bouquet of elegant long stemmed roses to match your lipstick, and that longing “puppy-in-love” look on their faces.

Oh dear… no wonder your profile has been collecting dust rhinos for over three years.  Please look at my profile again. Look closely, please. Do you see anything that says “Seeking over-ambitious, high maintenance, gold-digging, drama queen.”  ? Well, when you see THAT on my profile, you may go ahead and drop me a line asking me about my mating habits, my looks, my accent, and my income again. Until then – do the world a favor, hire a surgeon who would be willing to suck away about 120lbs off of you, fix your teeth, give you a nose-job, saw off your head, and mail it to Jerry Springer. This way, you see, you will not be pestering those who really do not give two flying dry chihuahua turds for your attitude. You will also get all the attention you ever needed. And there will even be a crowd of shock-starved idiots to be dramatized by your very pretty head. They will also be safe from falling further into the abyss of arrogant ignorance, a place where you certainly would send them to if you were able to speak to them, thus lowering their standards.

Good day to you, Pretty.

P.S. Before any fem friend I have thinks it is about them – it is NOT! It was some dafty Cali bimbo on match poking at me with some serious arrogance and rudeness. It made me a little grumpy.

1 Comment »

  1. Up until the middle of the second paragraph I thought it was all about your former, where I had realized that the mere 120 lb of liposuction job on that bitch would be conservatively speaking … insignificant?

    Comment by brusensky — September 29, 2009 @ 6:23 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by WordPress