my brain just threw up a little…

April 16, 2009

getting fucking fat here!

Filed under: lawls — Sol @ 11:05 pm
(02:32:46 PM) Friend: ?(02:26:16 PM) Me: and I am clearly in danger of having to schedule conjugal visits with my precious if I keep putting things in my belly
(02:32:57 PM) me: um…
(02:33:24 PM) Friend: <3
(02:33:59 PM) me: imagine someday I’ll be like “um… I have not seen my precious in months! can you see it?
(02:34:29 PM) me: and you’d be like “Oh, honey, we should get two other guys to help you lift the flap”
(02:34:53 PM) me: and then on of the guys will be like “Woah! Are those Cheetos?!”
(02:35:29 PM) me: and the other is like “I can’t lift that much, union regulations, see?”
(02:35:41 PM) Friend: ?(02:28:03 PM) me: ./ignore
(02:35:44 PM) me: and the first is like “Yeah, where be my hardhat?”
(02:36:04 PM) me: and I’d be like “omgomg it itches!”
(02:37:43 PM) me: and you’d be like “Oh, honey, that’s the third guy with a powerwasher. Remember? Ignatio, the poor migrant worker, we haven’t seen him for a month, we thought he was deported. Well apparently he is still there, making his way to your buttcrack!”
(02:39:07 PM) me: and the Sociologist at the door is like “Excuse me! You have introduced invasive species to the natives who are living in this virgin rainforest!”
(02:39:36 PM) me: and Ignatio is like “Viva la revolution, bitches!”
(02:40:00 PM) me: and the second union guy is like “we require moar pay!”
(02:40:29 PM) me: and the first union guy is like “Oh screw this, we are outta here”
(02:41:22 PM) me: and a green crotch Pygmy is like “Yo, send more cheetos – our children are starving!”
(02:42:03 PM) me: and the USAF pilot preparing Humanitarian Aid airdrop is like “hey, their women look hawt, mang!”
(02:42:39 PM) me: and Speared Sociologist at the door is like “Arrrrrrggggh!”
(02:43:23 PM) me: and a spear throwing Pigmy is like “LULZ! ./win over oppressors!”
(02:43:50 PM) me: and scollins is like “oh fuck this, we are not hosting this! this is a TOS violation!”
(02:44:44 PM) me: and a Pigmy of The Left is like “We want to have adequate representation in UN!”
(02:45:17 PM) me: and the buttcrack is like “Ugh… REPRESENT!”
(02:46:02 PM) me: and City Inspector is like “How many people do you actually have here?”
(02:46:30 PM) me: and someone from The Right ate him.
(02:47:22 PM) Friend: ?(02:34:55 PM) me: ?(02:28:03 PM) me: ./ignore
(02:49:03 PM) me: i am so posting this on blogs

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