my brain just threw up a little…

January 25, 2011

As promised…

Filed under: Daily Crazies,lawls — Sol @ 12:41 pm

Surely there is some child out there who thinks that Little Red Riding Hood is an evil bitch. There has to be one kid who thinks that LRRH is a conniving temptress, leading on the Big Bad Wolf(e) with her “basket of goodies” and playing innocent requiring some protection on her travels. Added innocence in her soon revealed destination – “I am going to visit my ill grandmother.” And when geriatric harlot (aka Grandma The Sick) seduces the chivalrous and noble Wolfe, Little Red Riding Hood sees Wolfe “eating Grandma…” she feels crossed, and in the feat of jealousy decides to off them both. Being an evil and conniving little shit she finds an accomplice whose involvement pretty much guarantees that the traitorous wench and her new boy-toy are going down. She brings in The Hunter. Old family friend who just could not afford Grandma and was smart enough to not try anything with LLRH “The Jailbait that’s worth it.”

LLRH turns on her waterworks, tells The Hunter that Big Bad Wolfe is a Hannibal Lecter and that he is finishing off grandmas buttocks, and matter-of-factly mentions that she just turned eighteen. Ten minutes later hunter is spraying the house with buckshot cowboy style, and more of the cowboy style a second later when he tosses in a torch, and after getting their story straight they ride off into sunset. On the way to the sunset LRRH ganks Hunter’s wallet and skips out at the nearest rest-stop. The End.

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