my brain just threw up a little…

January 25, 2011

holy shit…

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies — Sol @ 9:08 pm

For the last ten days dog and I had a house-guest. A friend from the horde-hill came over and is staying with us. Why? Because I like company and she needs a place to stay for a couple of weeks away from her own place. Little did I know what I was getting into. I was in for a serious surprise. A very pleasant surprise too. No, not THAT kind of a surprise, we are not dating or shagging, and we are not planning on it either. We are friends and it is really awesome. Surprise part, you ask? Why let me tell you! Apparently I forgot what it is like to have a woman in my house. In the last ten days this amazing person cooked dinners. I mean… “On your way back home from work, I need you to pickup the following list…” I bring in stuff, and she makes DINNER. No joke. Actual dinner, guys! I do not lift a finger. I offer to help, and I am being told to go back to what I was doing, or I am asked a question like “what did you want to drink with this?” And after a fantastic dinner before I have a chance to lift my ass out of the chair she knocks out all the dishes.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

This woman takes care of my dog. I mean… for real – walks her every two hours or so and plays with her.

And if that wasn’t all manner of awesome, she further amazed me by… (drums roll) … she cleaned my house. I mean… dusted, swept, wiped, damn near everywhere she could set her foot at, and she even cleaned her hair out of the shower drain-catch.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

So last night I threw a load of my clothes into the washer before I went to bed. Naturally I forgot about it in the morning when I was running to work. Guess what, when I texted her later in the afternoon letting her know about my plans for tonight (to finish laundry, to write more, to watch two shows etc) you know what this woman told me? She said that she already got my laundry out of the washer, that she already dried it, and it is now in the basket waiting to be put away. I sat there, stunned with disbelief, as if someone just showed me a picture of two shaved koalas blowing each other.

Holy Fucking Shit!

But wait, there is more…

You know what she pulled off yesterday? She started making me a vest. Why? Because I’d look hot in a fucking vest. So she is making me a vest.

yeah… let all that sink in a bit.

I forgot what it is like to have a WOMAN in my house.

holy. fucking. shit.

oh, if all that wasn’t enough – she got bored and knitted some. She made a thingy to grab hot pots and pans, because my old grippy thingy for grabbing hot pots and pans was not to her satisfaction. Dear Fluffy Lord, did someone answer my prayer and shot me twice in the back of the head, and this is the idea of heaven for evildoers like Yours Truly? I find it very much plausible. Well… thanks for letting me in – this is really quite awesome! Grippy hot-pads… a woman… who is being super-nice to me. Did I reflect my feeling on the matter by saying “Holy Fucking Shit” yet?

This woman can come hang out anytime, I so decree! rawr

back to dinner now… later we get to play with the stinking dog, write crazy things, watch a couple of shows, and go pass out. And you know what’s really stunning on top of it all? (aside from her and I not shagging lol) There will be hot tea and a muffin and oatmeal in the morning before work.

Yo, Dear Fluffy… thanks !

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