my brain just threw up a little…

May 22, 2011

bullet in the ass for a fashion statement?

Filed under: commentary,Daily Crazies,random crazies — Sol @ 12:49 pm

Let me see if I get this right. An armed man three times your age is ordering you to pull your pants up.
A) Make sure there are witnesses. Suck it up. Pull your pants up. Walk away leaving him feeling really rather stupid. Call the police. Let them deal with it.
B) Argue with an armed man over your fashion statement. Try to outrun a bullet. Catch bullet with your ass. Go to cops anyway.
C) Man up. If you really are such a serious fellow – shoot the son of a bitch who pulled a gun on you, thus protecting your ass and your fashion statement, and spend about half your life in prison doing the same.

Additional thoughts: unless you can run at speeds exceeding 2800fps, don’t try to outrun a bullet, and unless you plan on limiting your fashion to something orange for about thirty years, do not shoot him.

Perspective of the shooter:
A couple of kids are walking down the street with their pants about their ankles. Bare asses exposed to the world. Possibly with some attitude and general disregard to fashion sense of others. You:
A) Check your own pants to make sure they are still firmly attached with a belt to your waist and tell yourself that if those were your kids you should have a talk with them about fashion sense and use of belts. “Use your belt, or I will.”
B) Point finger and laugh gaining their attention. Once attention is gained make them feel dumb with pointed comments.
C) Order these two strangers to adjust their pants, or else… and when they refuse threaten them with a firearm, and once they run, commit what in legal sense would be called an attempt at premeditated murder with possible firearms charges added for shits and giggles.
D) After careful thought, consideration, and sickening realization that there is NOTHING you can do to make those pants not ruin your world, you scream, fire a warning shot in the air, threaten the two kids with your weapon to gain their attention, tell them that what you are about to do is being done because of their horrible fashion sense and that you can no longer carry on in the world surrounded by people with bad fashion sense. Place the barrel of your weapon into your own mouth. Make sure to angle the barrel up so you won’t even see the weapon itself. Pull the trigger. Say hello to your dear fluffy lord, and hope that there are no pants at all in the place he sends you.

on a personal note – that whole thing is so fucking stupid.

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