Death at a Funeral, 2007
November 22, 2018
November 14, 2018
Dog chili and marmot’s makeup commune
YT [11:26]
Problem with making chili is everything smells like chili for a while
not dog butt!
CW [11:26]
“problem”?
lol
oic
YT [11:26]
Dog butt still smells like dog butt
CW [11:27]
are you trying to say you prefer teh smell of dog butt over chili?
YT [11:27]
oh no, not at all. Only noting that chili doesn’t smell like dog butt. And what’s even better is that dog butt does not smell like chili
Because, you see, if dog butt smells like chili, it would mean that some dog butt ate some chili. And *that* is just dangerous and will kill ALL the grass
CW [11:30]
legit
YT [11:30]
Did you know that during Vietnam war DoD actually had plans to use genetically modified chihuahuas fed chili to defoliate jungle?
Project was in the last development stages when info leaked, and labs got picketed by Green Peace (or some other gang advocating their hippie crap) because flaming chihuahua crap could have devastating effects on the environment.
CW [11:33]
……
peta didn’t then rescue the chihuahuas and then feed them vegan diets until they died?
YT [11:34]
They even adopted “Do Not Tread on me” flags as means of portraying jungle pythons suffering from heartburn.
CW [11:34]
lol
clearly
YT [11:34]
And that’s the best damn story you gonna get out of me today!
That, and the fact that most expensive makeup in the world contains marmot jizz.
You are welcome.
CW [11:36]
😀
YT [11:37]
Remember how in the 60s there were communes of hippies established in various places in Central America?
CW [11:37]
clearly i remember the 60s
and how accurately the world was portrayed in the media then
YT [11:40]
I have it on good authority that one of those communes with ideology steeped in green-peace fart fumes and hashish smoke, actually declared themselves an independent state. Their flag had a marmot humping a purse on it.
CW [11:41]
that’s not too far-fetched from the 60s, i’ll buy it 😀
October 11, 2018
UTI
One way to make your doctor a wee bit concern is to hand them a urine sample they cannot see through.
September 26, 2018
You are what you eat, right?
John:
I quit smoking. Eight days now
Me:
oh! well done you
patch?
John:
Cold turkey; I got really sick last week and basically slept for a bit over 24 hours straight. After that I was like, meh, made it this far.
Me:
makes sense
feeling better?
John:
yarr
Me:
excellent, soon enough you will start jogging
and yoga
and lifting
John:
hahaha
Me:
and get healthy
and start travelling
and end up in some port in Micronesia
perched atop some bench
and locals will mistaken you for a bird, clock you over the head with a club studded with sharks teeth, and eat you.
Very healthy bird.
John:
That sounds rather painful XD
Me:
nah, you will live on as essence with tribal leaders
Your left buttock which will be eaten by Mrs Gurgle (shaman’s wife) will actually make history.
After the rest of the humanity will perish in nuclear fire, your bum will live on with child of a child of a child of a child of Mrs Gurgle. That child will have the spirit of your left buttock and will be the leader of the free world. (only a lot less Trumpy).
Interestingly enough, at about the same time there will be a rise of mutated sentient sharks. No one will know why these sharks build underwater monuments dedicated to their deity, and why these monuments so strongly resemble a pair of feet attached to a relatively small torpedo.
(Yes, there are some things cannibals just do not eat and throw overboard of their canoes)
(I bet when you woke up this morning you didn’t think that this will be a topic for some dudes’ fevered imaginative speculations, eh?)
September 9, 2018
August 28, 2018
Altered Carbon
From Altered Carbon. Hey, at least no one was shagging this cat. Aristocrats.
July 26, 2018
Overheard at the doctor’s office
“Have you tried putting fruit in your mouth?”
(two ladies conversing)
June 23, 2018
crossing fingers
This guy I know just told me he is dealing with a brain tumor.
I like this guy. I hope his tumor fucks off and recovery is quick.
oh and he has a pretty awesome doggus.
CW, I’ll keep my digits crossed and will see you when you get out of that mess.
June 21, 2018
co-worker’s birthday
I can’t think of anything appropriate to do to him
I mean… I CAN, but it involves a suitcase, 17mm box wrench, Happy anniversary card, a ball of twine, raw egg, lighter fluid, and eventual police sirens. Which makes it not really appropriate for the work environment, see?
oh, and one of those mini-cupcakes with a pair of chopsticks
hey, I wasn’t the one who invented this prank, so I cannot take any credit for it.
Original was setup by Usul-bey during 1812 Turkish campaign on the west side of Bofort pass, and resulting effect gave most the modern day Bulgarian population a persistent stutter.
“Judgemental”
People like throwing this word around when they do not like someone’s opinion.
Everyone has opinion(s). Not agreeing with an opinion is not an issue. Handling it can be an issue.
Live and let live, you buncha dirty apes.